My story is deep and has so many facets. 

But God… (don’t we know the best stories begin with those two words?) 

But God has been faithful to bring me through victorious every single time. 

There are so many times in my life I have utilized my kingdom authority.  We must, to overcome opposition the enemy throws our way, for we know each attack is meant to distract us from our purpose. 

The most significant battle came shortly after God called me to ministry 10 years ago. It was in February of 2012 when my church hosted a special praise and worship service. I went down front for prayer and can remember one of our leaders in the church was praying over me. I felt the call to ministry in that moment and I simply said “yes, Lord.”  I asked Father God where to start and I heard Him say “Start at Home.”

So, I did.

I completely dived in headfirst. preparation for ministry requires wilderness moments to prune the branches of strife, unforgiveness and pain we collect along this life path. this was the beginning to the entire process of “dying to self” re-focusing my attention on church, my husband, and children. 

After that, it was as if all of hell was in a fury and the enemy rallied to attack us from every angle. 

Our family has suffered a lot of trauma early on, and there has been so many layers that God faithfully peeled back to heal. 

There were times when I felt like I had been completely stripped bare of everyone in my life.  Everything in my life.   

Dying to self requires getting real with yourself and allowing the Holy Spirit to drudge up the deepest, darkest, inward pain. it requires getting rid of those roots of bitterness once and for all.

I believe from my experience that Psalm 139: 23-24 is the instruction manual on how we are to pray and ask God to reveal those areas of buried pain, needing to be healed. It Says;

 “Search me o God and know my heart! Try me and know my thoughts. See if there be any grievous way in me and lead me in the way everlasting.”

It is amazing what would come to my mind! And then, the hardest part of all.

Forgiveness, forgiveness, forgiveness. Forgive everyone. forgive Every minute of every hour of every day. God did not design our hearts to hold the weight of bitterness. Release every offense, daily.

So much time is wasted being angry.

Our Father in heaven desires for each of His children to live a beautiful life. I learned that He yearns to have relationship with us. I learned that He created us to operate in total wholeness of mind, body, and spirit. Psalm 139 is a wonderful passage to really know how precious we are to our Heavenly Father.

My personal favorite is verse 9-10;

“If I take the wings of the morning and dwell in the uttermost parts of the sea, even there your hand shall lead me, and your right hand shall hold me.”

Please, take the time to read its entirety.

meditate on each word and let them massage your weary heart today.

believe him when he says he is acquainted with all your ways.

You are so loved by our Abba, Father.   

It is time to take back your mind from the lies of the enemy and bring each thought captive. The only way to accomplish this is speaking out loud the Word of God. 

It starts there, it starts with knowing and growing in the Word. Everyone has their own level of trauma they need to heal, and God is faithful to walk with us to that place of wholeness,

if we just say yes and do the work.

Make a commitment to be in the word of God every day. You must spend time with someone to get to know them and being present in the word is the best way to know God.

Never give up.

Never stop learning.